Wild and open sex lives are nothing new. Swinger and fetish clubs have been around for a long time. In recent years, though, they have stepped out of the shadows. Gone are the days when, if you wanted to satisfy your fantasies, you had to know someone who knew someone, get the invite, then find the right spot in the wrong part of town, and tremble as you knock on the door.
Nowadays, some people tend to be more open. Strangers might not open up about their latest experiences when you pass them in the street, as sex lives are still a more intimate part of us. They’re, though, a part we all know exists, that we know is different for everyone.
Some people will freely admit they spend money on sex toys these days. Some of the new apps and websites, like JOYclub, have made it easier to find others who feel like you, whatever your tastes are. So It’s become easier to find kinky events almost anywhere in London nowadays, and attending them is no longer the taboo it used to be.
However, how did this sexual evolution come about, and what does it mean for the sexually experimental? Let’s discover and look further into this below.
Changing Attitudes
We say “evolution” rather than “revolution” because this change has come about slowly. What has happened over the years is that the rigid stereotype of the relationship that should span most of your life has changed. More and more lifestyle choices have become socially accepted. Not so long ago, divorce was still frowned upon. Polygamous and polyamorous relationships barely raise an eyebrow anymore.
Sex-positive communities, where people can share their lives with whomever they want, now exist almost everywhere in the UK, EU, the US and other places. They offer a support network where people can discuss anything in a safe and comfortable environment. This, in turn, empowers more people to open up and learn more about themselves, and the cycle continues.
The Sexuality Spectrum
Along with lifestyle choices, we’re also seeing the end of the rigid approach to sexuality. One of the main achievements of the LGBTQ+ community was opening people’s eyes to the fluid nature of sexuality. As a result, so many are discovering or rediscovering their sexuality.
With that comes new likes, desires and fantasies waiting to be satisfied. The more people out there who know exactly what they want, the better chance they have of finding someone who wants the same.
Moving Online
Much of finding partners, ice-breaking and foreplay happening online now has been a huge boost for sex-positive communities. It’s only natural to feel nervous and inhibited when discussing your deepest fantasies, so online chat has been crucial in relaxing people and bringing them out of their shells.
More than that, it’s revealed to people how normal their desires are and how many people out there think and feel like they do. The internet has given them a way to find, talk to and meet up with these people. It’s now so easy to find like-minded people; it’s no wonder so many people are doing it.
The New Normal
The way we meet people and find sexual partners has fundamentally changed. In the past, people would generally meet through their social circles, and meeting people online had a negative stigma attached. These days, things have reversed.
There’s no longer a negative view of meeting people online, and young people are actively trying to avoid hooking up with people they know socially. Dating people you know can get messy, whereas online, you can find people with no ties to your friendship group. You can also find people with the same interests as you. We can’t see things going back to the way they were anytime soon.
The Apps Take Over
Apps have evolved. We’re no longer dependent on Tinder as a sort of one-size-fits-all dating app. There are supposedly over 1,500 dating apps and websites now. With a bit of research, you can find the perfect website, whether you want a life-long partner or someone to explore your kinky side with you.
While they can be frustrating for some, high investment and usability means that using these platforms has become a hobby for many. The more people use the websites, the easier it is to find the one you’re after.
Safety has become a much more important focus for developers. Nowadays, we’re all far more aware of just how much harassment people suffer, and dating websites are unfortunately rife with it.
In response, their creators are coming up with new ways to help protect privacy and reduce harassment, such as a dick pic filter which is being used on some platforms. Creating a safer environment is essential to make these communities places for everyone.
The Covid Effect
Covid lockdowns may not have caused any of these things, but they did magnify them. Being stuck inside for weeks and months on end obviously made people go online more to fill the hours and to fulfil certain urges.
It also helped people to forget about their inhibitions. Everyone lost their mind to a certain extent during lockdown, as you could tell from some of the videos circulating on social media.
This made people more relaxed when putting themselves out there and less judgemental of others. The upshot is that we’re now much more relaxed about opening up to relative strangers about exactly what we’re looking for.
A Journey for Everyone
Wherever you are on your journey of sexual exploration, now is a great time to explore it. No longer shrouded in secrecy, you can join in open, healthy discussions about sex. The community is full of like-minded people who are happy to share their experiences and advice. There are workshops, both online and in person, where you can continue your education.
Whenever you’re ready, the community offers ways to meet other people or couples or attend kinky events in your area. All fantasies are shared by someone else out there, and it’s never been easier to find them.
